“What doesn’t kill you will make you stronger” goes the saying. It means to say that the troubles and tribulations in life would give us more strength and make us better prepared to face challenges in the future. Anyway, there are precious few of us who would welcome problems in our lives for the sake of this professed benefit. Most of us, although we theoretically accept that life can never be a bed of roses, want our existence to be as hassle-free as possible.
Psychologists say that problems in life can give us an opportunity for growth that we might miss if we had a path clear of them. People who have undergone various ordeals have often said that their lives have become richer through the experience: they have gained a fresh appreciation of what they already have, rather than focusing on what is not there and feeling miserable; families have grown closer and come to value each other’s company much more; their perspective on life has changed to one of wonder and gratitude, letting go of much of the self-seeking and entitlement-thinking that characterized them earlier.
Even children stand to lose when they have an overprotected childhood. As a paper by psychologist Ed Diener (in PDF format) points out, children in richer families may come to expect all the luxuries their parents provide them with and this mentality of entitlement can cause adjustment problems for them in the future. In their cloistered existence they could miss out on the whole learning experience other kids their age automatically receive by having to face the natural challenges of growing up and find creative solutions to them.
To be sure, no one has to go looking for trouble or unnecessarily complicate their lives by courting disaster, but the present-day emphasis on hassle-free living probably has to relax a bit for us to become full-fledged human beings. Quite apart from the fact that we never can be totally free from problems and have a life that turns out 100% according to our expectations no matter how hard we try, why bother excessively to avoid trouble- and become wimps- if we can find a growth opportunity in squarely facing up to them. It looks like all that is part and parcel of living a fulfilling life.
